SEEKING THE LIGHT

﴿وَالَّذِينَ لاَ يَشْهَدُونَ الزُّورَ وَإِذَا مَرُّواْ بِاللَّغْوِ مَرُّواْ كِراماً - وَالَّذِينَ إِذَا ذُكِّرُواْ بِـَايَـتِ رَبِّهِمْ لَمْ يَخِرُّواْ عَلَيْهَا صُمّاً وَعُمْيَاناً - وَالَّذِينَ يَقُولُونَ رَبَّنَا هَبْ لَنَا مِنْ أَزْوَجِنَا وَذُرِّيَّـتِنَا قُرَّةَ أَعْيُنٍ وَاجْعَلْنَا لِلْمُتَّقِينَ إِمَاماً ﴾
(72. And those who do not bear witness to falsehood, and if they pass by some evil play or evil talk, they pass by it with dignity.) (73. And those who, when they are reminded of the Ayat of their Lord, fall not deaf and blind thereat.) (74. And those who say: "Our Lord! Bestow on us from our wives and our offspring the comfort of our eyes, and make us leaders of those who have Taqwa.'') (al-furqan)
 
These are further attributes of the servants of the Most Gracious. They do not bear witness to falsehood, including lies, immorality, disbelief, foul speech and false words. `Amr bin Qays said, this refers to gatherings of sexual immorality. It was said that the Ayah,

(And those who do not bear witness to falsehood,) refers to giving false testimony, which means lying deliberately to someone else. It was recorded in the Two Sahihs that Abu Bakrah said, "The Messenger of Allah said three times:
(Shall I not tell you of the greatest of major sins) We said, "Of course, O Messenger of Allah.'' The Messenger of Allah said:
(Associating others in worship with Allah and disobeying one's parents.) He was lying down, then he sat up and added:
(Beware false speech, and bearing witness to falsehood.) and he kept repeating it until we thought, would that he would stop.'' From the context it seems that what is meant by those who do not bear witness to falsehood is those who do not attend it or are not present when it happens. Allah says:
(and if they pass by some evil play or evil talk, they pass by it with dignity.) They do not attend where falsehood occurs, and if it so happens that they pass by it, they do not let it contaminate them in the slightest. Allah says:
(they pass by it with dignity.)
(And those who, when they are reminded of the Ayat of their Lord, fall not deaf and blind thereat.) This is also a characteristic of the believers,
(Those who, when Allah is mentioned, feel a fear in their hearts and when His Ayat are recited unto them, they increase their faith; and they put their trust in their Lord.) (8:2) Unlike the disbelievers. When they hear the Words of Allah, they are not affected by them or moved to change their ways. They persist in their disbelief, wrongdoing, ignorance and misguidance, as Allah says:
(And whenever there comes down a Surah, some of them say: "Which of you has had his faith increased by it'' As for those who believe, it has increased their faith, and they rejoice. But as for those in whose hearts is a disease, it will add doubt to their doubt) (9:124-125).
(fall not deaf and blind thereat.) means, unlike the disbelievers who, when they hear the Ayat of Allah, are not moved by them, but continue as they are, as if they did not hear them but are deaf and blind. His saying:
(And those who say: "Our Lord! Bestow on us from our wives and our offspring the comfort of our eyes...'') means those who ask Allah to bring forth from their loins offspring who will obey Him and worship Him and not associate anything in worship with Him. Ibn `Abbas said, "This means (offspring) who will strive to obey Allah and bring them joy in this world and the Hereafter.'' Imam Ahmad recorded that Jubayr bin Nufayr said: "We sat with Al-Miqdad bin Al-Aswad one day, and a man passed by and said, "How blessed are these two eyes which saw the Messenger of Allah ! Would that we had seen what you saw and witnessed what you witnessed.'' Al-Miqdad got angry, and I was surprised, because the man had not said anything but good. Then he turned to him and said, "What makes a man wish to be present when Allah had caused him to be absent, and he does not know how he would have behaved if he had been there By Allah, there are people who saw the Messenger of Allah , and Allah will throw them on their faces in Hell because they did not accept him or believe in him. Are you not grateful that Allah brought you forth from your mothers' wombs believing in your Lord and in what your Prophet brought, and that the test went to others and not to you Allah sent His Prophet during the most difficult time that any Prophet was ever sent, after a long period of ignorance, when the people could see no better religion than the worship of idols, and he brought the Criterion which distinguishes truth from falsehood and which would separate a father from his son. A man would realize that his father, son or brother was a disbeliever, and since Allah had opened his heart to Faith, he knew that if his relative died he would go to Hell, so he could not rest knowing that his loved one was in the Fire. This is what Allah referred to in the Ayah,
(And those who say: "Our Lord! Bestow on us from our wives and our offspring the comfort of our eyes...'') Its chain of narrators is Sahih, although they did not report it.
(and make us leaders of those who have Taqwa.) Ibn `Abbas, Al-Hasan, As-Suddi, Qatadah and Rabi` bin Anas said: "Leaders who would be taken as examples in good.'' Others said: "Guides who would call others to goodness.'' They wanted their worship to be connected to the worship of their children and offspring, and their guidance to go beyond themselves and benefit others. This would be more rewarding and a better end, as it was recorded in Sahih Muslim from Abu Hurayrah, may Allah be pleased with him, that the Messenger of Allah said:
(When a son of Adam dies, his deeds cease apart from three: a righteous child who will pray for him, knowledge from which others may benefit after him, or ongoing charity.)

from tafsir of ibnu kathir:
وَعِبَادُ الرَّحْمَـنِ الَّذِينَ يَمْشُونَ عَلَى الاٌّرْضِ هَوْناً وَإِذَا خَاطَبَهُمُ الجَـهِلُونَ قَالُواْ سَلاَماً - وَالَّذِينَ يِبِيتُونَ لِرَبِّهِمْ سُجَّداً وَقِيَـماً - وَالَّذِينَ يَقُولُونَ رَبَّنَا اصْرِفْ عَنَّا عَذَابَ جَهَنَّمَ إِنَّ عَذَابَهَا كَانَ غَرَاماً - إِنَّهَا سَآءَتْ مُسْتَقَرّاً وَمُقَاماً - وَالَّذِينَ إِذَآ أَنفَقُواْ لَمْ يُسْرِفُواْ وَلَمْ يَقْتُرُواْ وَكَانَ بَيْنَ ذَلِكَ قَوَاماً.
 63.And the servants of the Most Gracious are those who walk on the earth Hawna, and when the foolish address them they say; "Salama.'') (64. And those who spend the night in worship of their Lord, prostrate and standing.) (65. And those who say: "Our Lord! Avert from us the torment of Hell. Verily, its torment is ever an inseparable, permanent punishment.'') (66. Evil indeed it is as an abode and as a place to rest in.) (67. And those who, when they spend, are neither extravagant nor stingy, but are in a just balance between them.                  (al-Furqan)



These are the attributes of the believing servants of Allah,

(those who walk on the earth Hawna,) meaning that they walk with dignity and humility, not with arrogance and pride. This is like the Ayah:
(And walk not on the earth with conceit and arrogance...) (17:37). So these people do not walk with conceit or arrogance or pride. This does not mean that they should walk like sick people, making a show of their humility, for the leader of the sons of Adam (the Prophet) used to walk as if he was coming downhill, and as if the earth were folded up beneath him. What is meant here by Hawn is serenity and dignity, as the Messenger of Allah said:
(When you come to the prayer, do not come rushing in haste. Come calmly and with tranquility, and whatever you catch up with, pray, and whatever you miss, make it up.)
(and when the foolish address them they say: "Salama.'') If the ignorant people insult them with bad words, they do not respond in kind, but they forgive and overlook, and say nothing but good words. This is what the Messenger of Allah did: the more ignorant the people, the more patient he would be. This is as Allah says:
(And when they hear Al-Laghw (evil or vain talk), they withdraw from it) (28:55). Then Allah says that their nights are the best of nights, as He says:
(And those who spend the night in worship of their Lord, prostrate and standing.) meaning, worshipping and obeying Him. This is like the Ayat:
(They used to sleep but little by night. And in the hours before dawn, they were asking for forgiveness) (51:17-18).
(Their sides forsake their beds...) (32:16).
(Is one who is obedient to Allah, prostrating himself or standing during the hours of the night, fearing the Hereafter and hoping for the mercy of his Lord...) (39:9). Allah says:
(And those who say: "Our Lord! Avert from us the torment of Hell. Verily, its torment is ever an inseparable punishment.'') meaning, ever-present and never ending. Al-Hasan said concerning the Ayah,
(Verily, its torment is ever an inseparable, permanent punishment.) Everything that strikes the son of Adam, then disappears, does not constitute an inseparable, permanent punishment. The inseparable, permanent punishment is that which lasts as long as heaven and earth. This was also the view of Sulayman At-Taymi.
(Evil indeed it is as an abode and as a place to rest in.) means, how evil it looks as a place to dwell and how evil it is as a place to rest.
(And those who, when they spend, are neither extravagant nor stingy...) They are not extravagant, spending more than they need, nor are they miserly towards their families, not spending enough on their needs. But they follow the best and fairest way. The best of matters are those which are moderate, neither one extreme nor the other.
(but are in a just balance between them.) This is like the Ayah,
(And let not your hand be tied to your neck, nor stretch it forth to its utmost reach.)(17:29)


(68. And those who invoke not any other god along with Allah, nor kill such person as Allah has forbidden, except for just cause, nor commit illegal sexual intercourse -- and whoever does this shall receive Athama.) (69. The torment will be doubled for him on the Day of Resurrection, and he will abide therein in disgrace;) (70. Except those who repent and believe, and do righteous deeds; for those, Allah will change their sins into good deeds, and Allah is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful.) (71. And whosoever repents and does righteous good deeds; then indeed he has repented to Allah Mataba.) (al-furqan)

Imam Ahmad recorded that `Abdullah bin Mas`ud said, "The Messenger of Allah was asked which sin is the most serious'' He said: «أَنْ تَجْعَلَ للهِ نِدًّا وَهُوَ خَلَقَك» (That you appoint a rival to Allah when He has created you.) He asked, "Then what'' He said: «أَنْ تَقْتُلَ وَلَدَكَ خَشْيَةَ أَنْ يَطْعَمَ مَعَك» (That you kill your child for fear that he may eat with you.) He said, "Then what'' He said: «أَنْ تُزَانِي حَلِيلَةَ جَارِك» (That you commit adultery with your neighbor's wife.) `Abdullah said, "Then Allah revealed, confirming that: ﴿وَالَّذِينَ لاَ يَدْعُونَ مَعَ اللَّهِ إِلَـهَا ءَاخَرَ﴾ (And those who invoke not any other god along with Allah....)'' This was also recorded by An-Nasa'i, and by Al-Bukhari and Muslim. It was narrated that Sa`id bin Jubayr heard Ibn `Abbas saying that some of the people of Shirk killed a great deal and committed Zina a great deal, then they came to Muhammad and said: "What you are saying and calling people to is good, if only you would tell us that there is a way to expiate for what we have done.'' Then the Ayah: ﴿وَالَّذِينَ لاَ يَدْعُونَ مَعَ اللَّهِ إِلَـهَا ءَاخَرَ﴾ (And those who invoke not any other god along with Allah...) was revealed, as was the Ayah, ﴿قُلْ يعِبَادِىَ الَّذِينَ أَسْرَفُواْ عَلَى أَنفُسِهِمْ﴾ (Say: "O My servants who have transgressed against themselves!'') (39:53). ﴿وَمَن يَفْعَلْ ذلِكَ يَلْقَ أَثَاماً﴾ (and whoever does this shall receive Athama.) It was recorded that `Abdullah bin `Amr said: "Athama is a valley in Hell.'' `Ikrimah also said that Athama refers to valleys in Hell in which those who commit unlawful sexual acts will be punished. This was also narrated from Sa`id bin Jubayr and Mujahid. As-Suddi said that Athama referred to punishment, which is closer to the apparent meaning of the Ayah. This interpretation makes it interchangeable with what comes next, the Ayah: ﴿يُضَـعَفْ لَهُ الْعَذَابُ يَوْمَ الْقِيـمَةِ﴾ (The torment will be doubled for him on the Day of Resurrection,) i.e., repetitive and intensified. ﴿وَيَخْلُدْ فِيهِ مُهَاناً﴾ (and he will abide therein in disgrace;) scorned and humiliated. ﴿إِلاَّ مَن تَابَ وَءَامَنَ وَعَمِلَ عَمَلاً صَـلِحاً﴾ (Except those who repent and believe, and do righteous deeds;) means, those who do these evil deeds will be punished in the manner described, ﴿إِلاَّ مَن تَابَ﴾ (Except those who repent), that is; those who repent in this world to Allah from all of those deeds, for then Allah will accept their repentance. This is evidence that the repentance of the murderer is acceptable, and there is no contradiction between this and the Ayah in Surat An-Nisa': ﴿وَمَن يَقْتُلْ مُؤْمِناً مُّتَعَمِّداً﴾ (And whoever kills a believer intentionally) (4:93), because even though this was revealed in Al-Madinah, the meaning is general, and it could be interpreted to refer to one who does not repent, because this Ayah states that forgiveness is only for those who repent. Moreover Allah says: ﴿إِنَّ اللَّهَ لاَ يَغْفِرُ أَن يُشْرَكَ بِهِ وَيَغْفِرُ مَا دُونَ ذَلِكَ لِمَن يَشَآءُ﴾ (Verily, Allah forgives not that partners should be set up with Him, but He forgives except that to whom He wills) (4:48). And in the authentic Sunnah, it is reported from the Messenger of Allah that the repentance of a murderer is acceptable, as was stated in the story of the person who killed one hundred men and then repented, and Allah accepted his repentance, and other Hadiths. ﴿فَأُوْلَـئِكَ يُبَدِّلُ اللَّهُ سَيِّئَاتِهِمْ حَسَنَـتٍ وَكَانَ اللَّهُ غَفُوراً رَّحِيماً﴾ (for those, Allah will change their sins into good deeds, and Allah is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful.) Imam Ahmad recorded that Abu Dharr, may Allah be pleased with him, said, "The Messenger of Allah said: «إِنِّي لَأَعْرِفُ آخِرَ أَهْلِ النَّارِ خُرُوجًا مِنَ النَّارِ، وَآخِرَ أَهْلِ الْجَنَّةِ دُخُولًا إِلَى الْجَنَّةِ، يُؤْتَى بِرَجُلٍ فَيَقُولُ: نَحُّوا عَنْهُ كِبَارَ ذُنُوبِهِ وَسَلُوهُ عَنْ صِغَارِهَا، قَالَ: فَيُقَالُ لَهُ: عَمِلْتَ يَوْمَ كَذَا، كَذَا وَكَذَا، وَعَمِلْتَ يَوْمَ كَذَا، كَذَا وَكَذَا، فَيَقُولُ: نَعَمْ لَا يَسْتَطِيعُ أَنْ يُنْكِرَ مِنْ ذَلِكَ شَيْئًا، فَيُقَالُ: فَإِنَّ لَكَ بِكُلِّ سَيِّئَةٍ حَسَنَةً، فَيَقُولُ: يَا رَبِّ عَمِلْتُ أَشْيَاءَ لَا أَرَاهَا ههُنَا» (I know the last person who will be brought forth from Hell, and the last person who will enter Paradise. A man will be brought and it will be said, "Take away his major sins and ask him about his minor sins.'' So it will be said to him: "On such and such a day, you did such and such, and on such and such a day, you did such and such.'' He will say, "Yes, and he will not be able to deny anything.'' Then it will be said to him: "For every evil deed you now have one good merit.'' He will say: "O Lord, I did things that I do not see here.'') He (Abu Dharr) said: "And the Messenger of Allah smiled so broadly that his molars could be seen.'' Muslim recorded it. Ibn Abi Hatim recorded that Abu Jabir heard Makhul say, "A very old man with sunken eyes came and said, `O Messenger of Allah, a man betrayed others and did immoral deeds, and there was no evil deed which he did not do. If (his sins) were to be distributed among the whole of mankind, they would all be doomed. Is there any repentance for him'' The Messenger of Allah said: «أَأَسْلَمْتَ؟» (Have you become Muslim) He said, "As for me, I bear witness that there is no God but Allah Alone, with no partner or associate, and that Muhammad is His servant and Messenger.'' The Prophet said: «فَإِنَّ اللهَ غَافِرٌ لَكَ مَا كُنْتَ كَذَلِكَ، وَمُبَدِّلُ سَيِّئَاتِكَ حَسَنَات» (Allah will forgive you for whatever you have done like that, and will replace your evil deeds with good merits.) The man said: "O Messenger of Allah, even my betrayals and immoral actions'' The Prophet said: «وَغَدَرَاتُكَ وَفَجَرَاتُك» (Even your betrayals and immoral actions.) "The man went away saying `La ilaha illallah' and `Allahu Akbar.''' Allah tells us how His mercy extends to all His creatrues, and that whoever among them repents to Him, He will accept his repentance for any sin, great or small. Allah says: ﴿وَمَن تَابَ وَعَمِلَ صَـلِحاً فَإِنَّهُ يَتُوبُ إِلَى اللَّهِ مَتاباً ﴾ (And whosoever repents and does righteous good deeds; then indeed he has repented to Allah Mataba.) meaning, Allah will accept his repentance. This is like the Ayat: ﴿وَمَن يَعْمَلْ سُوءاً أَوْ يَظْلِمْ نَفْسَهُ ثُمَّ يَسْتَغْفِرِ اللَّهَ يَجِدِ اللَّهَ غَفُوراً رَّحِيماً ﴾ (And whoever does evil or wrongs himself but afterwards seeks Allah's forgiveness, he will find Allah Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful) (4:110). ﴿أَلَمْ يَعْلَمُواْ أَنَّ اللَّهَ هُوَ يَقْبَلُ التَّوْبَةَ عَنْ عِبَادِهِ﴾ (Know they not that Allah accepts repentance from His servants...) (9:104). ﴿قُلْ يعِبَادِىَ الَّذِينَ أَسْرَفُواْ عَلَى أَنفُسِهِمْ لاَ تَقْنَطُواْ مِن رَّحْمَةِ اللَّهِ﴾ (Say: "O My servants who have transgressed against themselves! Despair not of the mercy of Allah.'') (39:53) - for those who repent to Him. ﴿وَالَّذِينَ لاَ يَشْهَدُونَ الزُّورَ وَإِذَا مَرُّواْ بِاللَّغْوِ مَرُّواْ كِراماً - وَالَّذِينَ إِذَا ذُكِّرُواْ بِـَايَـتِ رَبِّهِمْ لَمْ يَخِرُّواْ عَلَيْهَا صُمّاً وَعُمْيَاناً - وَالَّذِينَ يَقُولُونَ رَبَّنَا هَبْ لَنَا مِنْ أَزْوَجِنَا وَذُرِّيَّـتِنَا قُرَّةَ أَعْيُنٍ وَاجْعَلْنَا لِلْمُتَّقِينَ إِمَاماً ﴾ (72. And those who do not bear witness to falsehood, and if they pass by some evil play or evil talk, they pass by it with dignity.) (73. And those who, when they are reminded of the Ayat of their Lord, fall not deaf and blind thereat.) (74. And those who say: "Our Lord! Bestow on us from our wives and our offspring the comfort of our eyes, and make us leaders of those who have Taqwa.'') ( Al-Furqan)

I tried to write a post in Bahasa Melayu, but it took longer time than I thought for the ideas to emerge. Unfortunately, my English is a kindergarten level ( My previous lecture told me that). So, I have no choice but to write in English.  

it is 3 in the morning, and i am sleepy. But, i am worry about my english for academic purposes a.k.a eap. I do research on the safety of aspartame. It is an interesting chemical, and lots of unsettled controversies since its approval by u.s fda in 1974. Oh, by the way, i should have mention this earlier, its a sugar an artificial one. Huh... There are so many postulates that we can consider them to be a myth. Well, there are no concrete truth about aspartame. I want the research paper or the primary source of the experimental result of aspartame. Cant found any that really convince me aspartame is the culprit causing all those creepy symptoms i.e migrain, multiple sclerosis, cancer..
Quite mental here. Which is the truth? Arghh... Need to read more and compare. Anyhow, now i cant sleep. Even consider not sleep at all. Not only eap, there are several other issues left untouch waited to be solved. My brain is still working, just become more weird than it usually is. It started with it questioning about the rain drop shape, and now the comparison between spectacled and normal person field of vision. For normal it have to be 200 degree(horizontally) for me? Its 140 degree. 60 degree different. More hillarious. For a normal person, 1 eyes is equal to 160 degree. More than i can see with both of my eyes open. -the figure is just approximation, but it does compute. If i keep posting this unnoticed simple things, i think it is kind of annoying to read. Btw, regarding the field of view, i dont do futher research on it, just a theory that seems logical. I did measure my own field of view.haha up next is: is the length of a stride or step is related to the height of a person? If yes how can we knw its a stride or a step? And can we also know the height of the person ? Assume that, he or she walk on a soft ground good enough to leave a trace. This will take quite a time. Who knew let me know it.
Everything is now new to me, its only this recently i realize i have overlooked too many beautiful things i.e drops of water.

as a human, i am open to error. So do u people. No one is free from mistake. But this is not an excuse for poor result, as we can strive to reduce the mistake. Throughout my life i have to alter my believes for its dont suit the truth. It is hard to change my believes after years holding to it, practising it, but when the truth comes to me, the only choice i have is to follow it. I believe that, a crazy person is not some lunatic that being detained and medicated in asylum, but the real one is who know the truth but reject it.
When our thnking is founded by our former believes, that have just recently proven to be deviated from the truth. Realizing it can create an immediate dilemma which at the first stage we try to defend our believe with so many made up reasons that are non-logical to any healthy mind. But eventually, when more informations fill in, the clearer the flaw of the former believe and the soundness of its successor.
Without any reason that is in phase with the person knowledge,- we explain similar things to a child and an adult but with different reasons to reach nearly similar understanding- the reason will not help the person to adopt the new believe even if it is the correct one. Each person has their own capacity and tools to understand things. Wallahu'alam

it cannot be avoided that my eyes always find pleasure looking at the creations of Allah namely: plant
why does i am so please with it? Why it is attracting me? Why it feels so comfortable to be close to nature; the water fall, rain, forest..?
Then i start to scrutinize its structure with these naked eyes of mine that cannot see more futher than a mere meters (-_'')
the leaves, its so green, and there are several different tone of it from dark green to bright yellowish green. It is so perfectly coloured, so beautiful. The trunk or its bark is rough textured with brown in colour. The brown trunk and the green leaves. Very beautiful.. And matched in harmony. The shape of the leaves is my next subject. Masyallah, if u look carefully at the edges of the leaves, its well curved with some sort an angle. If u are an artist, you will like to incorporate somethng like those shapes into your design. So, start observing the plant it is so amazing. I see it as a beautiful sclupture. You may see it differently: its ability to produce oxygen etc.
After the observation, i conclude that, the maker of this plant is indeed have a greater sense of art than human do, not only the shape and colour is well coordinated the science behind it is so mysterious that we, human a being with a great intellect take thousands of years or even longer, to understand only a part of it and still much to be unrevealed and studied. And that is only a plant. Thus, the creator of this plant is also extremely wise. And i believe, the creator is Allah the almighty, that has also created me, and you. Humans whole life is warped in Allah's favour, why does people still disbelieve?

By : Imam as-samarqandi	translated by: islaam.com

Assalamu'alaikum,

alhamdulillah, I am still alive so do you, until this moment we are given the chances to improve ourselves.
I have always try to strive to be a better servant of Allah s.w.t

     I just read a book named "life is an open secret" by zabrina A. bakar

good for leisure reading, yet contains valuable secrets for those who want to delve deeper
in their life.

    One of the topic that interest me is that " would I marry me?"
it is a self improvement method that seems to be lame, but effective.
would I marry the present me? I can say, possibly or probably but not definitely. There are too mush things I need to improve and mend. Like being more responsible, and more diligent.

back to the point:

There are absolutely ways to reach sincerity, we just have to struggle more to find it. I am very positive that, when we see no way out, when there is no more road to pave, if we try, and never give up, impossible will turn to be possible. Life is like a puzzle, need effort and hard work to  finish it up. When we see the bigger picture, we will be more confidence and certain in our decisions.

We need first to monitor our heart when we so something. If we intend to speak to be boastful, immediately stop talking. Check how our heart feels with each action that we do. It can distinguish between what is right and wrong. Sometime, the heart is blackened by the sins and thus unable to recognize anything no more. Ask Allah for a new heart when reciting Al-Qur'an do not tranquil it, or Solat cannot make it peaceful.

We can avoid showing off, but does it mean we have being sincere?
for sincere contain nothing else but for the sake of our Lord.
But we are humans, our action are enforced by the benefit that we recive.
That why, it is ok if we do good for

wallahu'alam, 

By Imam Hamid Slimi
Finding someone for marriage is one of the most discussed topics among single people and specifically among our Muslim youth today since relationships between males and females in Islam are not considered right except through the ties of Nikah.
For those who have chosen to abide with the laws and principles of Islam and hold on to chastity and patience, marriage discussions are so fascinating, promising and one of the best outlets of relief. Young people who are struggling, dreaming or even fantasizing about a potential spouse (one they have in mind or hope to find) often do so because the romantic possibilities seem endless; they hope with abandon and trust in God to help them find that person.
“Falling in love”
Our eyes and minds are constantly bombarded with images and thoughts which bring new considerations and efface old ones. Today’s culture and environment have opened so many ways of communication between people that they have taken away the simplicity of life and the contentment which used to help us focus, set life priorities and most importantly understand that no one is perfect and therefore reasonable adjustments always need to be made. The more sophisticated we become the more we demand and expect from the others.
The universal expression of art, literature, movies and music has been very successful in convincing us that “happiness in marriage must start with a love story.” Thus, falling in love has become the “standard” for starting a married life. Consequently, the focus of many becomes the search for love, or the cliche – coup de foudre – when people, who by nature never like to fall, make the sole exception to willingly fall in the ocean of love.
Many want to experience what poets have been ruminating about, what stories and novels have been relating to us, what artists have been illustrating and playing to the world. “Falling in love” in the romantic language means experiencing perfection by tasting the ultimate sweetness that this earthly world can offer and achieving a sort of transcendence towards the ultimate uplifting physical and spiritual experience.
A quest for a perfect partner?
The question which comes to mind is: are those looking to get married on a quest for the perfect partner or on a search for a compatible partnership leading to happiness? We certainly cannot expect what we cannot give and since no one is perfect then why would someone expect perfection to be realized through a partnership made of imperfect beings?
Thinking that the other will be perfect and hence will make me happy and content is an illusion. In reality no one can make you happy and content except yourself and when you accept the fact that you cannot expect others to be perfect because you are not perfect either. In fact this quest for romantic perfection is entirely self-defeating. God Almighty says, “Lo! Allah does not change the condition of a folk until they (first) change by themselves that which is in their hearts;” (Chap. 13 V.11). Only once we let go of this romantic notion which is really a figment of our collective imaginations can we begin our quest towards happiness.
What is happiness?
The million dollar question: what is happiness? Happiness means amongst other things contentment, satisfaction, fulfilment, accomplishment and achievement which are almost linear in fashion. Therefore, if I achieve my goals then I should be happy. The Holy Qur’an states the goals of marriage in the following verse, “And among His signs is this: He created for you mates from yourselves that you might find rest and peace in them, and He ordained between you love and mercy. Lo! Herein indeed are portents for folk who reflect.” (Chap. 30 V. 31)
The goals here are rest, tranquility, peace of the mind and peace of the soul. This is why the sense of peace and harmony is a signal that creates that first acceptance of the other; the exchange of inexpressible signals that follow then grown from acceptance to become Mawaddah or spiritual love. Mawaddah has to be cultivated over time like a fruit-bearing tree; spiritual attachment is cemented by the spiritual enrichment and appreciation, which is unlike the physical desire driven by one’s biology that eventually decreases over time.
Components of a compatible personality

Having said all of this, Islam does recognize the fact that there should be a reasonable level of compatibility between a man and a woman over different aspects of life, mainly personality and faith. The components of a compatible personality used to be and to some degree still are one’s education, manners, perceptions, social upbringing and physical appearance to a certain extent.
As for ethnicity, race, culture, and lineage – these have nothing to do with compatibility since they tend to counter the message of equality, uniformity and human brotherhood stressed by the Qur’an and the Prophet (PBUH) – in fact these elements have always been the causes of division, conflict and even war.
High expectations and low preparation – a formula for divorce
However, even this notion of marriage compatibility has evolved in our days beyond character, reasonable education, etiquette, abilities and reasonable material establishment. Due to today’s economic pressures, compatibility for a large number of those on marriage quest means the full package that is a ‘romantic experience with a wealthy partner’ -or at least a person with ‘stable’ income – and all the better if he or she looks like a prince or princess.
This has led to the unfortunate raising of standards to the degree which is far beyond acceptance and reasonable chemistry, hard work, a sense of responsibility and physical compatibility. The search for mutual compatibility – something that was relatively easy to find – has been replaced by high expectations and low preparation for marriage which according to recent statistics is one of the main causes of divorce today. The high divorce rate in both Muslim and non-Muslim communities have surpassed any historical records.
According to the Prophet (PBUH) marriage is something simple: “If someone with good character comes to you to propose for marriage and you feel pleased and satisfied with his religious beliefs and practices as well as his character (manners and personality), then you should marry him, otherwise there will be fitnah (tribulation and great evil) and big corruption on earth.” (Reported by Imam Tirmidhi and others) He also said, “Women are asked for marriage for four things: wealth, family status, beauty and the practice of faith. So you should marry the one with faith, otherwise you will lose more than you gain.” (Reported by Imam Bukhari and others).
Are we really following his advice or have we gone off the wrong track?
There are several considerations one must make when looking for a future spouse.

• Look for a person from whom you get a feeling of peace, tranquility and a sense of security. This is what matters the most and the rest is icing on the cake.

• For every man there is a right woman and for every woman there is a right man. You only need to look in the right place, the right way at the right time.

• Seek the help of God by praying for your marriage. Even Prophet Musa (Moses) prayed for personal peace and security and God immediately answered him when he said, “My Lord! I am needy of whatever good You send down for me.” (Chap 28 V.24)

• Seek help from those with experience and exposure. People will help you! Put your trust in Allah and in a few trusted people who care about you and would love to see you happy.

• Attend various Islamic gatherings at Islamic centers or in mosques and engage in appropriate (professional) conversation with the members of the opposite sex without being isolated with them.

• You can also correspond with potential mates through third-party Muslim marriage websites or advertising. Our methods of communication have changed and there is nothing wrong with that as long as the principle of professional conduct is maintained.

• In the time of the Prophet (PBUH) the Sahabah (his companions) used to meet people sometimes in his presence and sometimes in other circumstances. For instance, on a number of occasions women used to come presenting themselves as candidates for marriage and accordingly, some men would accept their proposal of marriage. The Sahabah were very simple and undemanding about choosing their partners so long as they fulfilled basic religious and character requirements.

Too many conditions
In our society, generally speaking, we tend to put far too many conditions and requirements that are not essentials from an Islamic perspective in a marriage.
Islamically, the basic things we should consider are religion and character. All other requirements can be compromised on.
Young people have to stop chasing the notion of the perfect one and start looking for the peaceful one. Islam is based on peace and Allah Almighty constantly calls us to the house of peace. Marriage is about finding peace within oneself and with one’s spouse.
Ultimately, there is no one to blame for not finding a partner but oneself because as the Prophet (PBUH) said “Allah has taken it as a duty upon Himself to help the one who seeks Nikah.”
Originally published Tuesday, 06 May 2008
(FLN Magazine – Vol. 1 / Issue 1)

expectation: the mind set of how things will be going even before they actually happen
capability or potential: i.e, leadership, intelligence and etc

Expectation is a very powerful that it can influence the perception regardless of the actual situation or condition.

No doubt, this situation often happen in our life. How many time have we being disheartened by what we got merely because we feel that we deserve better.

There is this person which I looked down, when I found out this person is actually better than what I think, now I have respected this person even more. There is also so many people that do not reach my expectation.

The movies,novels, all depicting a love story that is too good to be true. Unfortunately this has penetrated our mind, and we have set it as a benchmark or a standard by which we measure our happiness. Irony, irony...


A person, what is in them is so beautiful once we know them

So do the future. We need not to be a pessimist, once we do, we will be only trapped in dismay afraid to move forward.

So, what we need? we need to be realistic.wallahua'lam

                                                     

tis is just wat i believe, so its not like tis the truth but 4 me tis is how i understand the world:

come along with us into this world, personality that make who we are regardless it is bad or good. Most of it nurtured by environment or merely passed down by our parents and inscribled in the genes. Bad tempered, impatience, ill mannered, kind hearted, forgiver, polite, and many more. Or maybe some of us even have the tendency or urge to do something wicked like killing, shoplifting or indecent act. These whims that lead to shameful and sinful act, i believe is a trial. The greatest war is within the human to fight himself, a ceaseless battle. Being born evil doesnt mean we have to stay being evil.(every child is pure from any contaimination) We are free to choose our own path.

ibnu mas'ud said that they used to learnt 10 verses of the qur'an and will never proceed until they learnt everthing from it. The qur'an deserve more to be read than recited, both have their own credits of giving guidance to human.i have read in a blog, an article posted there from i luv islam: al-qur'an as the benchmark.
The secondary needs of human nature is his self-esteem, he will struggle to fulfill his self-esteem. Thus, he will always has the desire to improve or I can also say perfection. As so, he must have a point of reference or destination that he is directed to. Most people taking famous person, celebrities or the riches to be their final destination. The weakness behind this is that they are humans and open to mistake. A blind people being guided by a blind people.
The limited ability of human senses has placed a huge wall that has also limits the knowledge. This is because the door to knowledge is the senses. As such, human can only make reasoning suitable to this limited knowledge. This is where the book of Allah helps, providing enough information for human to guide themselves. If a machine is created, for sure the engineer know every bits of his creation. He then, will provide manual so that the machine can function at it top performance at the hand of the customers. This is also in fact apply to us.

two different version, from 2 different people, and two different languages.

dua rukun diterimanya amal (dari lembaran kitab pemberian ustaz Emraan- entah apa name kitab ni lupa lak nk tanya, penulis pun xtau)

1. keikhlasan dan lurusnya niat
2.selari dengan sunnah dan syariat

rukun pertama merupakan batin, rukun kedua pula zhohir.

keterangan rukun pertama:
rasulullah saw bersabda ; " sesungguhnnya amal2 itu (dinilai) dgn niatnya" (fat-ful bari:1/15, no.1). Hadith ini menyatakan niat sebagai kayu ukur batin.

rukun kedua, Rasulullah saw bersabda," barang siapa yg melakukan sesuatu amalan bukan atas perintahku. maka ia tertolak." (h,r Muslim 3/1343, no.1718).
Ini pula tolak ukur lahir.

وَمَن يُسْلِمْ وَجْهَهُ إِلَى اللَّهِ وَهُوَ مُحْسِنٌ فَقَدِ اسْتَمْسَكَ بِالْعُرْوَةِ الْوُثْقَى وَإِلَى اللَّهِ عَـقِبَةُ الاٌّمُورِ

Di dalam Al-qur'an "dan barangsiapa yg menyerahkn dirinya kpd Allah, sedang dia orng yg berbuat kebaikan, maka sesungguhnya ia telah berpegang pd buhul tali yg kukuh" (luqman:22)

keterangan ayat: yg dimaksudkn menyerah diri kepada Allah adalah mengikhlaskn niat dan amal semata2 kerana Allah.
sedangkn ihsan dalam amal ialah mengikuti sunnah rasulullah.

Extracted From Tafsir Ibnu Kathir
chapter: al-Baqarah: The Hopes of the People of the Book

وَقَالُواْ لَن يَدْخُلَ الْجَنَّةَ إِلاَّ مَن كَانَ هُودًا أَوْ نَصَـرَى تِلْكَ أَمَانِيُّهُمْ قُلْ هَاتُواْ بُرْهَـنَكُمْ إِن كُنتُمْ صَـدِقِينَ - بَلَى مَنْ أَسْلَمَ وَجْهَهُ لِلَّهِ وَهُوَ مُحْسِنٌ فَلَهُ أَجْرُهُ عِندَ رَبِّهِ وَلاَ خَوْفٌ عَلَيْهِمْ وَلاَ هُمْ يَحْزَنُونَ

111. And they say, "None shall enter Paradise unless he be a Jew or a Christian.'' These are their own desires. Say (O Muhammad ), "Produce your Burhan if you are truthful.'') (112. Yes! But whoever submits his face (himself) to Allah (i.e. follows Allah's religion of Islamic Monotheism) and he is a Muhsin then his reward is with his Lord (Allah), on such shall be no fear, nor shall they grieve.

Allah made the confusion of the Jews and the Christians clear, since they claim that no one will enter Paradise, unless he is a Jew or a Christian. Similarly, Allah mentioned their claims in Surat Al-Ma'idah:

﴿نَحْنُ أَبْنَاءُ اللَّهِ وَأَحِبَّاؤُهُ﴾

(We are the children of Allah and His loved ones) (5:18).

Allah refuted this false claim and informed them that they will be punished because of their sins. Previously we mentioned their claim that the Fire would not touch them for more than a few days, after which they would be put in Paradise. Allah rebuked this claim, and He said about this baseless claim, m

﴿تِلْكَ أَمَانِيُّهُمْ﴾

(These are their own desires). Abu Al-`Aliyah commented, "These are wishes that they wished Allah would answer, without basis.'' Similar was stated by Qatadah and Ar-Rabi` bin Anas. Allah then said,

﴿قُلْ﴾

(Say) meaning, "Say O Muhammad:''

﴿هَاتُواْ بُرْهَـنَكُمْ﴾

("Produce your Burhan...'') meaning, "Your proof'', as Abu Al-`Aliyah, Mujahid, As-Suddi and Ar-Rabi` bin Anas stated. Qatadah said that the Ayah means, "Bring the evidence that supports your statement,

﴿إِن كُنتُمْ صَـدِقِينَ﴾

(if you are truthful) in your claim. ''

Allah then said,

﴿بَلَى مَنْ أَسْلَمَ وَجْهَهُ لِلَّهِ وَهُوَ مُحْسِنٌ﴾

(Yes! But whoever submits his face (himself) to Allah (i.e. follows Allah's religion of Islamic Monotheism) and he is a Muhsin) meaning, "Whoever performs deeds in sincerity, for Allah alone without partners.'' In a similar statement, Allah said,

﴿فَإنْ حَآجُّوكَ فَقُلْ أَسْلَمْتُ وَجْهِىَ للَّهِ وَمَنِ اتَّبَعَنِ﴾

(So if they dispute with you (Muhammad ) say: "I have submitted myself to Allah (in Islam), and (so have) those who follow me.'') (3:20)

Abu Al-`Aliyah and Ar-Rabi` said that,

﴿بَلَى مَنْ أَسْلَمَ وَجْهَهُ لِلَّهِ﴾

(Yes! But whoever submits his face (himself) to Allah) means, "Whoever is sincere with Allah.''

Also, Sa`id bin Jubayr said that,

﴿بَلَى مَنْ أَسْلَمَ﴾

(Yes! But whoever submits) means, he is sincere,

﴿وَجْهَهُ﴾

(his face (himself)) meaning, in his religion.

﴿وَهُوَ مُحْسِنٌ﴾

(and he is a Muhsin) following the Messenger . For there are two conditions for deeds to be accepted; the deed must be performed for Allah's sake alone and conform to the Shari`ah. When the deed is sincere, but does not conform to the Shari`ah, then it will not be accepted. The Messenger of Allah said,

«مَنْ عَمِلَ عَمَلًا لَيْسَ عَلَيْهِ أَمْرُنَا فَهُوَ رَد»

(Whoever performs a deed that does not conform with our matter (religion), then it will be rejected.)

This Hadith was recorded by Muslim. Therefore, the good deeds of the priests and rabbis will not be accepted, even if they are sincerely for Allah alone, because these deeds do not conform with the method of the Messenger , who was sent for all mankind. Allah said regarding such cases,

﴿وَقَدِمْنَآ إِلَى مَا عَمِلُواْ مِنْ عَمَلٍ فَجَعَلْنَاهُ هَبَآءً مَّنثُوراً ﴾

(And We shall turn to whatever deeds they (disbelievers, polytheists, sinners) did, and We shall make such deeds as scattered floating particles of dust.) (25:23)

﴿وَالَّذِينَ كَفَرُواْ أَعْمَـلُهُمْ كَسَرَابٍ بِقِيعَةٍ يَحْسَبُهُ الظَّمْآنُ مَآءً حَتَّى إِذَا جَآءَهُ لَمْ يَجِدْهُ شَيْئاً﴾

(As for those who disbelieved, their deeds are like a mirage in a desert. The thirsty one thinks it to be water, until he comes up to it, he finds it to be nothing.) (24:39) and,

﴿وُجُوهٌ يَوْمَئِذٍ خَـشِعَةٌ - عَامِلَةٌ نَّاصِبَةٌ - تَصْلَى نَاراً حَامِيَةً - تُسْقَى مِنْ عَيْنٍ ءَانِيَةٍ ﴾

(Some faces, that Day will be humiliated. Laboring, weary. They will enter in the hot blazing Fire. They will be given to drink from a boiling spring) (88:2-5).

When the deed conforms to the Shari`ah outwardly, but the person did not perform it sincerely for Allah alone, the deed will also be rejected, as in the case of the hypocrites and those who do their deeds to show off. Similarly, Allah said,

﴿إِنَّ الْمُنَـفِقِينَ يُخَـدِعُونَ اللَّهَ وَهُوَ خَادِعُهُمْ وَإِذَا قَامُواْ إِلَى الصَّلَوةِ قَامُواْ كُسَالَى يُرَآءُونَ النَّاسَ وَلاَ يَذْكُرُونَ اللَّهَ إِلاَّ قَلِيلاً ﴾

(Verily, the hypocrites seek to deceive Allah, but it is He Who deceives them. And when they stand up for As-Salah (the prayer), they stand with laziness to be seen by people, and they do not remember Allah but little.) (4:142) and,

﴿فَوَيْلٌ لِّلْمُصَلِّينَ - الَّذِينَ هُمْ عَن صَلَـتِهِمْ سَاهُونَ - الَّذِينَ هُمْ يُرَآءُونَ - وَيَمْنَعُونَ الْمَاعُونَ ﴾

(So woe unto those performers of Salah (prayers) (hypocrites). Those who delay their Salah (from their stated fixed times). Those who do good deeds only to be seen (of men). And withhold Al-Ma`un (small kindnesses)) (107:4-7).

This is why Allah said,

﴿فَمَن كَانَ يَرْجُو لِقَآءَ رَبِّهِ فَلْيَعْمَلْ عَمَلاً صَـلِحاً وَلاَ يُشْرِكْ بِعِبَادَةِ رَبِّهِ أَحَدَا﴾

(So whoever hopes for the meeting with his Lord, let him work righteousness and associate none as a partner in the worship of his Lord) (18: 110).

He also said in this Ayah,

﴿بَلَى مَنْ أَسْلَمَ وَجْهَهُ لِلَّهِ وَهُوَ مُحْسِنٌ﴾

(Yes, but whoever submits his face (himself) to Allah (follows Allah's religion of Islamic Monotheism) and he is a Muhsin).

Allah's statement,

﴿فَلَهُمْ أَجْرُهُمْ عِندَ رَبِّهِمْ وَلاَ خَوْفٌ عَلَيْهِمْ وَلاَ هُمْ يَحْزَنُونَ﴾

(Shall have their reward with their Lord, on them shall be no fear, nor shall they grieve) guaranteed them the rewards and safety from what they fear and should avoid.

﴿فَلاَ خَوْفٌ عَلَيْهِمْ﴾

(There shall be no fear on them) in the future,

﴿وَلاَ هُمْ يَحْزَنُونَ﴾

(nor shall they grieve) about what they abandoned in the past. Moreover, Sa`id bin Jubayr said,

﴿فَلاَ خَوْفٌ عَلَيْهِمْ﴾

"(There shall be no fear on them) in the Hereafter, and

﴿وَلاَ هُمْ يَحْزَنُونَ﴾

(nor shall they grieve) about their imminent death.''